As you start planning your wedding day, one of the biggest questions you might be asking yourself is, “Should we do a first look?” First looks have become way more popular in recent years, and there are tons of opinions out there that say whether you should do one or not.

Here’s the thing I want you to remember, though, as you debate this. This is your wedding day, and it’s your memories. It doesn’t matter if your wedding vendors want you to have one, so your timeline can run more smoothly. It doesn’t matter if your friends and family want you to wait to see each other, so they can see your reactions. At the end of the day, this is about you two and your love story, so I really want you to think about what you want to do.

As a past bride myself and a wedding photographer, I have a lot of experience when it comes to first looks. I’ve had countless couples choose to do a first look, and I’ve had countless couples choose not to do a first look. It has never created an issue in their timeline, and we’ve always been able to get stunning photos of their dreams, no matter what. You can check out some of those real wedding galleries in my portfolio to see exactly what’s possible!

With that being said, let’s break down a first look and answer some frequently asked questions, so that you can make the right decision for you!

What is a first look?

A first look is the moment that a couple sees each other for the first time on their wedding day, before the ceremony. That’s basically it!

It has also become popular for a bride to do a first look with not only the groom, but also with her father, and with her bridesmaids.

What are the pros of doing a first look?

It will help reduce your pre-wedding nerves.

This is the biggest reason that my husband and I chose to do a first look on our wedding day! We knew we would be so nervous before the ceremony, and didn’t know if we would be comfortable letting our emotions out with everyone’s eyes on us. The moment you walk down the aisle can be overwhelming for both bride and groom. 50-300+ eyes all on you watching and waiting for a reaction can be stressful. Seeing your best friend before the ceremony can help calm those nerves and get you excited for this next chapter of your lives that you’re entering into. Want to learn more about my approach and how I help couples feel at ease on their big day? Read more about me here.

You’ll get to spend more private time together.

On your wedding day, you’re never truly alone. You’re surrounded by your guests, wedding party, family, friends, and wedding vendors all day. A first look allows you to slow down for a moment and really be with each other. It’s the perfect time in the day for you two to really connect with each other. It also gives you the chance to read private vows to each other, if you wish. For some inspiration on how to photograph these intimate moments, The Knot has a beautiful roundup of first-look ideas worth browsing!

It can help with your wedding day timeline.

Now, this one depends 100% on the type of wedding you are having, what time your ceremony is, what time your reception is, and when the sun sets. One of the main reasons others will argue for a first look is that you can take all your portraits before the ceremony and then go right into the cocktail hour. But depending on the other logistics of your wedding day, this might not always be true.

For example, my husband and I had our wedding ceremony at 1 p.m., and our reception didn’t start till 5 p.m. So while we opted for a first look, we still took all our portraits after our ceremony. Other couples might have their ceremony at four and move right into cocktail hour immediately following. In this case, it might help the timeline to do a first look. But this is totally dependent on your day! If you’re still figuring out the logistics of your day, Zola’s wedding planning timeline tool is a great resource to help you map everything out.

What are the cons of doing a first look?

It breaks tradition.

It can be so important to some to follow traditions, and I always want to honor that decision! It has been a long-standing tradition to wait to see each other for the first time until you walk down the aisle. It even used to be considered “bad luck” to see each other before the ceremony, but modern-day thinking is changing that! Having a big reveal moment is traditional, and it can be so special to have all your friends and family with you two in that moment that you first see each other.

You’ll most likely have to start getting ready earlier in the day.

Choosing to do a first look usually means you have to start getting ready a few hours earlier than if you didn’t have one. Now this might not matter so much if your ceremony isn’t until 4 or 5 p.m., but if you’re having a morning or midday wedding, it could mean waking up early, eating breakfast early, and starting your hair and makeup early. Since we chose to do a first look at our wedding, this meant that my bridesmaids and I started hair and makeup at 7 a.m.

Frequently asked questions about first looks:

Will it ruin the moment of walking down the aisle?

No, it does not take away from this moment at all! Most couples who do a first look agree that seeing each other as they walk down the aisle is its own, unique experience. You’re in front of all your favorite people, and there’s music playing. It’s a completely different moment. If anything, couples have said that a first look eased their nerves and helped them to feel more present in this moment.

Are there alternatives to a first look?

Yes! A great alternative to a first look is a first touch. This is a moment where you will be able to touch, hold hands, and talk to each other without seeing each other. Couples will often do this around a corner or while standing on opposite sides of a door. This is a great way to ease your nerves, while still keeping the tradition of waiting to see each other. Curious about other ways to personalize your wedding day experience? Check out more wedding tips and inspiration on the blog!

Should we do a first look if we want naturally lit photos?

If your ceremony is later in the day, or after sunset, and you want your couple’s portraits to be naturally lit, then a first look could be a good option for you. It’s a more practical reason that couples will choose to do a first look. If you really don’t want to do a first look, then I would recommend moving up your ceremony to a few hours before sunset, so there’s plenty of time for portraits after. Not sure what kind of photography experience is right for you? Learn more about my packages and investment here.

How long does a first look take?

It is completely up to you! It could take anywhere from a few minutes to up to 30+ minutes. It all depends on whether you just want to do the first look or if you want to exchange gifts, read private vows to each other, or just have some extra alone time together. For ideas on how to make the most of your first look moment, World’s Best Wedding Photos has some beautiful tips and inspiration worth exploring!

So, should I do a first look?

In the end, it really doesn’t matter which way you choose, because your day will still be beautiful and full of joy no matter what! Don’t feel pressured to go one way or the other. Choose the option that makes the most sense and will ultimately make you and your fiancé the happiest on your wedding day.

Ready to capture every moment of your wedding day?

Whether you choose to do a first look or not, I would love to be there to document every beautiful, emotional, and joyful moment of your day. Inquire now and let’s chat about your vision!